Lily sells carpets.  Not only that she has her own carpet shop, right across the street from the Ephesus Museum in Selcuk.  I was introduced to Lily by Sue who lives on Vashon Island, a short ferry ride from my home in Seattle.  Sue, who is herself a weaver and who has lived in Turkey and traveled to Turkey many times, also is the proud owner of a carpet she purchased from Lily.

When I first contacted Lily, she responded right away, in a very open and friendly email.  She approved of our choice of a place to stay in Selcuk, assured me that she, too, loved conversation, that we could meet in her shop, and that she would drive us to Ephesus.

We arrived in Selcuk after a six and half hour bus ride from Antalya.  The bus system in Turkey is outstanding.  The scenery on this leg of the journey was wonderful.  We found our hotel with no trouble at all.  It was delightful – clean as could be, run by Osmond and his family, a small swimming pool in a small but lovely garden, and roof top dining outdoors.

Well, though we had been soaking p the sun and swimming in the Mediterranean the day before, by the time we arrive in Selcuk the temperature had dropped to 6 degrees celsius and, according to the TV it was snowing in Istanbul!  Osmond insisted that it was OK to eat outside on the roof, and I guess it was if you don’t mind wearing all of your warm clothes and eating with your gloves on!

Oh, and he indeed assured us that Lily would be by to pick us up about 8:30 the next morning to take us to Ephesus.

And, so she was.  Lily is a delightful young woman.  Her parents had had a hotel she told us, and had retired and sold it.  She now had her own business and also daily took folks from the Nazar Hotel to Ephesus and back.  This was only about a five minute ride we discovered, and we agreed that Lily would pick us up at 2:30 in the afternoon after we had toured Ephesus to our heart’s content.  Ephesus by the way, is one of the best preserved (or restored) ruins of the Roman Empire.  Completely awesome! ! !

But for me, a visit with Lily was just as marvelous.  We went directly to her shop; Jim went to get a bite to eat, and Lily and I settled on a sofa in her shop for a visit.  Yes, she is a business woman.  Yes, she is one of the 7% of Turkish women counted as “employed,” (outside the home, not supported by father or husband.)  Yes, she is a member of the Chamber of Commerce.  Yes, she is a rare model for other young Turkish women her life demonstrating that getting married while young is not the only possibility.

And, yes, at 36, she is independent, owns her own shop, experiences all of the challenges of that, as well as the joy of directing her own life.  She sells – and sends – carpets to customers all over the world.  Her most recent customers were from Colorado in the U.S. and from Ireland.

With Lily’s positive energy and courage and “Hugs” from me,

Barbara

Introducing this Blog, September 15, 2011, “A Journey of a Thousand Miles,” I described two journeys – one was the actual trip through Turkey, on which I was about to embark, and from which most of the posts so far have been made – – and the other the metaphorical journey that women around the world are traveling.  These journeys have converged for me at this point, in a potent, painful and I suppose necessary way.

I am sitting on a small hill, a bluff at the edge of the Mediterranean.  The sky behind the Taurus mountains across the water is a soft pink.  The water itself is smooth, satiny.  Doves are pecking out their breakfast around my feet.  It is a gentle scene, quite a contrast to the emotions raging inside of me.

Somewhere around the turn of the millennium, and actually for five to ten years leading up to that, the clarity of understanding about my work in the world came into sharp focus.  First was clarity about “global.”  My work was – and is – global.  That seemed arrogant and incongruous for a girl who grew up in the rural mid-west of this vast nation known as the United States.  But so it was.  Of course that’s the deal when it comes to one’s “calling” in life; it is not a logically planned journey; it is a continually emergent journey, based on trust, filled with surprise, synchronicities and puzzling uncertainties.

The second clarity was that my work was to be about women’s leadership ~ not a focus on supporting the leadership development of individual women, but rather about evoking, calling out, encouraging, nurturing women’s leadership – the leadership of all women. Kofi Annan, then Secretary of the United Nations, said the 21^st century was the century of women.  I got it – not in a rich way, but I got a sense of the essence of that meaning.

I realize that coming to teach at Antioch was very much a part of this journey of my work in the world – because my colleagues and our students taught me about systems and I came to understand the real difference between an individual woman’s leadership  —  and women — stepping up, stepping into, standing in the leadership that is already deep within them and is necessary to manifest at this time,  if we as a human species are to survive, let alone thrive.

It is clear that this is not an individual journey.  It is a collective journey.  The meaning of the Yin/Yang symbol that has resonated with me for many years, has reached new depths.  Robert Taylor,  a nationally recognized leader and author, who now lives in Seattle, grew up in South Africa.  Desmond Tutu was his mentor.  Robert recently sent me a note sharing that at Tutu’s 80^th birthday in conversation with the Dalai Lama, Tutu was asked about one thing that would change the world.  He replied that women should lead the world.   We have indeed, as a species, come as far as we can go with only male energy leading us.  Feminine energy is not needed as a supportive adjunct.  It is necessary as a leading energy, giving voice to the vision and the values that will create our future.

This actual journey we are on, this travel through Turkey was partly motivated for me by the thought of being able to stand on the land where the goddess was  worshipped – so long ago.  Imagining the Neolithic times, where egalitarian life style was the norm, where there were no monuments to fighting and war, was a powerful, refreshing and energizing vision.  To know that at one point in history me and women were equally valued – seemed a precious place to stand, from which to once again create – in this age – a world where women and men are equally valued.

To learn that this is no longer the way that period is understood, to have to give up a belief that was so central to me, has been as traumatic an experience as I can imagine.  The convergence of our journey as women with my actual journey to the Neolithic archeological site at Catal Huyuk has shaken my world.  I do not have a nice foundation on which to stand.  I must let go of that notion – and look ahead with the realization that we are indeed creating the future.

The questions remain, of course.  How did we as women get into this subordinate place?  How is it that for thousands of years we have participated in maintaining a system where we are valued less, discounted, and often even today, treated with violence?  We will continue to explore these questions in subsequent posts.  The message of this one is about the agony of giving up cherished beliefs – – – – and the necessity to do so – – – in order to truly move into new understanding, to create our own future.

I see that future unfolding before me.  In a sense I saw it before, but I did not know the power of what I saw.  I see more clearly now the potency of creative business women, such as Eveline, Silvia, Banu, Lilly, carving out a way to give their gifts – to share their skills, to enjoy their creative process – and in so doing provide both jobs for others and products that are satisfying to their customers.

I see Leyla’s leadership as the powerful gift that it is – not only to the women who need to recover from abuse, but to a social system that is learning its way from unbridled power and control over other human beings to more respect for each individual – man or woman.  I can treasure in a whole new way the potency of Heather’s poking and probing old, unexamined belief systems through her Feminist Activism blog.  And the list goes on and on.

What a gift the conversations on this trip have provided for me.  Visionary, creative, skilled, savvy and courageous women are indeed creating the future day by day.  They are not waiting for approval.  They are not waiting for external authority or resources. They are authorizing themselves, and in many cases using their own limited resources, to create a new reality with intention, consciousness of the greater whole and trust in their own power and the competence and power of those they attract to themselves.

It is an amazing time!

I hope that my sharing a bit about these women we’ve met may encourage and inspire you, evoke your own courage to do whatever it is that is yours to do.

I also hope that the women I’ve met may connect with one another, or at least, find and connect with other kindred spirits.  BECAUSE one of the ways we contribute to traditional subordinate roles is that we are frequently unaware of the contributions of one another.  We do not support one another as much as we might.  We are unaware of some of the lessons and knowledge gained by women in previous ages.  We do not build on the work of one another as much as we might.

AND – that is changing.  We are at a point where we have access to the work of other women – both from the past, and from the far away spots around the world.  Role models are available to us as never before!  The stories of the women featured on this blog, and on the www.womenleadingtheway.com web site are examples of women leaders who might live right next door to you, might be part of your community.

Only a few weeks ago the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to three women:  Liberian President Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, Africa’s first freely elected female president, Leymah Gbowee, who mobilized fellow women against the Liberian civil war including by organizing a “sex strike,” and Tawakkul Karman, a leader in the struggle for women’s rights and for democracy and peace in Yemen.  “We cannot achieve democracy and lasting peace in the world unless women obtain the same opportunities as men to influence developments at all levels of society,” noted Thorbjoern Jagland, Chairman of the Norwegian Nobel Committee.

In Istanbul, on the same day the Nobel Peace Prizes were announced, on the front page of the English newspaper, Daily News,  Brazilian President, Dilma Rousseff, is pictured striding alongside her counterpart, Turkish President, Abdullah Gui.  Rousseff was named as the third most powerful woman in the world in 2010, by Forbes Magazine.

We have great partners on this journey!

And we are great partners for one another!

Barbara

 

Cigdem is an archeologist ~ her focus is Neolithic culture.  She refers to this as “the Neolithic process,”  – – – — not “the Neolithic period.”  Several persons we’ve talked with have a sense of history as continual process.  A most significant reminder to me – and, I suspect, many of you as well ! ! !

She says archeologists generally consider this period as coming at the end of the last ice age when various parts of the earth became more hospitable for humans.  These were hunter-gatherer societies that moved around, often in a fairly small geographic area, gradually becoming more sedentary around a site and using the resources of that area.  The reasons for this are not only economic, but also symbolic – rituals for a successful hunt, perhaps.  The time frame – 10,000 BC; in the Dead Sea area, probably 14,000-13,000 BC.  By around 6000 BC settlements were depending on agriculture.

We were particularly interested in the Catal Huyuk site near Konya, Turkey which were planning to visit.  By around 7000 BC sedentary groups were common in this area – and some of them were very large – as many as 1500 people at one site.  These settlements were sometimes maintained at one site for several thousand years.  When a house was no longer livable, a new house was built immediately on top of it.

The social organization Cigdem described was most interesting.  There was hierarchy, she told us, but not central authority.  Status was based on such things as one’s family, age, skill, gender – probably male.  The ritual specialist was one of the most important.  Such a person could organize a ceremony for the hunt, for example and at the end of the hunt that person’s influence ended.  That is, when a person was a leader for one purpose that leadership did not extend to broad, long term influence or control.

I find this quite fascinating in light of current thinking of complexity theory – – that day by day, moment by moment we are continually creating our reality.  And Fritjof Capra’s lucid description of form and process – what stays the same (that is, changes at a much slower pace) gives shape to that which is continually changing.  It seems that what gave shape to these Neolithic cultures was a basic family organization, and wisdom was transmitted generation to generation.  At Catal Huyuk, for example, people literally lived with their ancestors. The dead were buried beneath the floors of the homes.

These houses were not merely places of shelter.  They were the place where one belonged.  Cigdem says there did not seem to be a concept of “owning property,” but a very strong sense of belonging.  So these houses were where people lived with the past, birthed new generations, acknowledged significant ceremonies – such as coming of age and marriage.  There is strong investment in the family group.

There are no significant differences in the burial sites that would suggest males or females were considered more important.  There seemed to be relatively egalitarian access to resources.  There was no “chief.”   Nevertheless – some persons and some families came to be more favored as having rights to administer, to make decisions that influenced all.

The theory proposed by James Mellaart (who first discovered this site, 1965) that the presence of figurines such as those at Catal Huyuk, the absence of objects of war, etc. suggested Goddess worship – seems to be largely discounted by current archeologists.

SO, the questions live on:

• How is it that some people would accept other people’s power and authority over them?
• How is it that women become subordinate to men?

Gerda Lerner, social historian, researches this general topic in extensive detail and eloquently describes her exploration and conclusions in her two volumes,

The Creation of Patriarchy (1987) and The Creation of Feminine Consciousness (1994).  We will explore her work in a later post.

For now may we simply revel in the incredible human history of which we are a part.  May we glean wisdom from it – and contribute wisdom to it.

Barbara

This evening (10/12/11) Ragib, his wife, and their daughter, Sara, came to the hotel. What fun it was to “sorta” host them. On the third floor where our room was located, there was a small sitting room – fireplace, love seats, a TV, computer.  Our hotel manager graciously agreed that we could have tea served – and we had purchased dates (melt in your mouth), delicious fresh pears and hazelnuts.

What a delightful conversation! ! !  Ragib has a business.  His wife, Banu, has a business – designing and building office furniture.  She is an architect – and a “live wire!”  She made sure we understood it was office furniture – not kitchen furniture or children’s furniture.  She also has submitted a proposal for a special grant for designing and building office furniture that is earthquake proof – as this is an area in the world where earthquakes are relatively common.

Banu is a member of the Chamber of Commerce and BPW.  She was one of a few women from Konya selected by the Turkish government to help encourage and support entrepreneurial work of other local women.  The process worked something like this:

*  This select group of women help the government identify such women who might qualify – the emphasis is on  helping women expand what they are already doing in their homes – – in order to make money.  For example making jams and jellies, or expanding their delicious cooking to sell to others or to cater.

*  The government gives classes (free, I think) to which these women could come — to learn about how to work with banks, how to get credit, how to comply with government requirements, what insurance is necessary and how to get it etc.  There is an exam and the women have to pass in order to get support from government to get started.

*  Some attend the training and decide this is not for them!

Banu told amazing stories of two women in particular who have been great success stories – – one from the city of Konya and one from a nearby village.  A KEY has been that they have somehow convinced their husbands to accept what they are doing.

Banu will write up the story of one of these women to post on our web site!  Thanks in advance, Banu.

Banu is a leader – – – no question.  She mentors other women, hires women, is very articulate and confident!  We all benefit from the clear, positive energy she brings to this world.

We also so enjoyed the loving dynamics of this family – though we did not get a chance to meet their son who is eleven.  Ragib is clearly proud of Banu.  Daughter Sarah plans to be a designer.  She is especially interested in designing planes (!)  Great teasing between father and daughter about her wearing boots which he thinks are ugly.  🙂  Sarah was chosen for an exchange student – to go to Japan this year, but because of the potential health hazards the family turned down that opportunity.  They are, however, hosting a young man from Mexico and Sarah explained how they enjoy sometimes going to church with him.

This whole family is a gift – in their engagement in life, their respect and love for one another, their commitment to their own faith, and their openness and appreciation of others and others’ beliefs.  And, it seems they may be insightful enough to embrace the industrialism and capitalism available to them AND to temper it so that they do not become prisoners to “more, more, more, bigger is better.”  May all of us engage in this common seeking.

We are honored to have connected with them.

Warm regards to each of you,

Barbara